May

Happy May Beauties,

So, I have just uploaded a video to YouTube (I'll leave a link below!) and it's about my taking a break from YouTube videos/some social media. I am fully aware that my viewers aren't thousands, however as a sign of respect to those that DO watch my videos when I upload, here is a better explanation.

As my previous posts or videos (and Tumblr blog especially) would suggest, I struggle with a few mental health issues. Things aren't as bad as they were this time last year, however, they're not great either. I started a YouTube channel with the hope that I could help others, as well as simply enjoy a little hobby. But, it might sort have got to a point where I'm not in the best mindset to be uploading videos, without overthinking every statistic and view...whilst constantly comparing my stats to others. I don't believe that the number of views is what's important, but it can mess with your self-esteem...especially when it's low enough haha.

When my brother first suggested YouTube to me, I promised to stick with it and not give up. I don't think taking a break is me giving up, but rather having a little time to really sort things out. May is also my exam month, meaning stress levels are super high... (the struggles of wanting to succeed in life haha! Everyone knows the feeling, but it's just something we have to go through, right?)

The Islamic month of Ramadan is also coming up, and I feel the need to reconnect with my faith and really let the Holy month cleanse me spiritually, emotionally and physically.

If you're still reading this then you get 13 brownie points, because you are one lovely person x

I hope this doesn't come across as too personal, but I felt like it needed a proper blogpost.

Take care,

Hana

:) x

Update!

Hiya reader,

Hope your week went well and that your plans for the weekend all go according to plan. Todays' post doesn't really have a purpose (oopsie, haha). But I will share a little update!

• We’ve moved house and it’s such a relief and was actually temporarily distracting.
•  Tomorrow I would have completed my first month in recovery, aka, with a meal plan and regular sessions with my Clinician.
• [TW] I’ve put on approx. a kilo in the past month, although the ED centre aim for a kilo a week. Originally, Family-Based Therapy was being used but now my Clinician is considering other options that might work better.
•  I’m hoping to start a journal/scrap-book, which is something that might work as a distraction.
•  I have actually filmed a Room Tour for my YouTube channel and I’ll be uploading it soon.
• I now have my own room and it feels so good.

Also, if anyone has any suggestions for YouTube videos, do leave a comment! I'm hoping to film a bunch of videos and upload them over July. Anyways, as I said, this post is pretty pointless, sorry haha. But here's a little quote for you...

No matter how broken my heart may feel, I will always be grateful it still has a beat.

- Demi Lovato 

'Brave Girl Eating'.

Hiya everyone ♡ Hope your weekend is going well and that you're enjoying summer! Today's post is a book review and here's the book title - Brave Girl Eating.

This book is written by Harriet Brown, where she discusses anorexia nervosa and her experience with it. She talks about her daughters' struggle with the eating disorder and how it influenced the whole family. It's written in a way that makes you feel that you're part of the family and really helps increase knowledge and understanding of the deadly mental illness.

As I've previously said, I deal with anorexia. It has definitely had a huge impact on not only my life, but my family and friends lives too. I am currently in recovery and seriously recommend that anyone with any eating disorder, or any mental illness, to seek help! You are worthy of support and I promise that reaching out for help does NOT make you weak.

I highly recommend that anyone who knows someone with an eating disorder read this book...it explains anorexia (as well as other eating disorders) on a more personal level. It may be quite triggering for ED sufferers themselves to read it, however the writer states that she hasn't included certain details to avoid triggering readers. I have read a fifth of the book and it's helped me view anorexia from the perspective of those close to me. Once again, it might be triggering to some, but I highly recommend it if you think your mindset is healthier or if you want to relate to families/sufferers.

Take care and enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Hana ♡